The most popular blog so far was one about Healthy Relationships. This tells me today’s health consumer isn’t only concerned about their physical well-being, but they’re aware of the strong link between physical well-being and their emotional and mental state.
That’s why having a healthy relationship is the Holy Grail of life. When you’re healthy from the inside, you attract healthy relationships, which is why so many people want to know how to do that.
Healthy Relationships should be a class taught in grade school throughout College, along with Nutrition and Healthy Living, which teaches how to cope with stress in life, because that will be a constant. Algebra and Calculus will not.
My book, HEALTHY WITHIN would do more to improve this world than any STEM class.
You may think love and how to love comes naturally, but not everyone has good role models. Oftentimes, parents are too busy working or dealing with their own stressors to demonstrate love properly.
Children end up witnessing verbal or physical abuse, addictions, financial stress and any other number of unhealthy behaviors from the very adults who are supposed to protect and nurture them. Many children end up being adults to keep it all together.
Breakdown of family is a huge stressor and research proves it can actually have a negative impact on children’s brain cells. But the good news is it can be reversed.
You, and only you, become responsible for your own behavior (forget your parents or any other unhealthy adult in your life) and can eat right, exercise and practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is paying attention to who you allow into your personal space. Decide to make it positive.
You can be aware of everything going on in the world, and do your best to have a positive impact on it, but first you need take care of your own well-being. Get away from unhealthy people. People can be unhealthy in mind, body or spirit. You will sense this by the way they treat you and other people. They project hostility. They name-call. They bully. Your job is not to be triggered. That’s what they want. Ignore it.
Stay in your calm, peaceful, healthy state and do not react to it. At a later time, you may respond from a place of wanting to understand. More than likely, you will learn that person was in pain at the time, and it had absolutely nothing to do with you. Part of knowing how to love oneself is learning how to love others by not reacting to them. Every child and adult needs to learn how to love. Most people love trying to get something. No. Love is selfless. Love doesn’t react. Love is calm. Love observes and seeks to understand where anger or hostility is really coming from. When a child acts out in school love asks, “Is everything okay at home?”
When a patients visits a doctor with physical aches and pains or a desire to lose weight love asks, “What’s going on in your life? Your relationships? Your job? Your finances?” Love doesn’t react by prescribing a pill before really getting to the bottom of what’s going on in someone’s life.
Again, everyone needs to learn how to love in every income bracket. Lawyers, doctors, judges, Presidents, writers –everyone. Your work is a reflection of your ability to ask the right questions before reacting to something. Every decision you make is a reflection of your knowledge or ignorance.
Personal responsibility in this world comes first. It means you need to take the time to learn what you need to because educators think teaching you how to spell well is more important than teaching you how to live or love well.
You need to learn how to love yourself first, then family, then friends, then partner, then colleagues, then community, then the whole world.
I’m reminded of the 1984 power ballad recorded by the British American rock band, Foreigner called, “I Want to Know What Love Is.”
The song hit #1 in both the UK and the U.S.
It’s no wonder why people want to know what love is because a healthy romantic relationship spills over into every other area of your life. It’s that extra skip in your step and glow on your face when you think of your special someone.
It gives you natural energy.
As much as television shows, films or magazines may glorify the one night stand, casual sex or being a player (another name for “Loser”) — the reality of it is that great sex comes with a great relationship. Fast food is momentary fullness with negative consequences, whereas consistently eating healthy has all the benefits that leave you feeling physically, mentally, intellectually and emotionally full and feeling good.
The emotion that has the most healing power for all physical ailments is LOVE. So many people focus time on finding the right mate, but don’t even know how to love because they don’t even realize they are filled with fear.
“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.”
~Marianne Williamson
Love and Fear are the most powerful ways of being that you can experience. In fact everything in your life every thought that you think, every word that you speak, every action you take falls under one of these powerfully creative headings.
You are at all times thinking, speaking and acting out of love or out of fear. They cannot coexist. In the same way all sponsoring emotions experienced can be and are categorized under one or the other…either love or fear.
When you begin to understand this you can then become more “conscious” of which you are expressing as you go about your day to day life which will provide you with a much deeper understanding as to how the day to day events, conditions and circumstances in the various areas of your life unfold.
It’s no secret in today’s world that the predominant thoughts that you think become things…physical things.
The more you focus on the things you want, (love) the more of those things you’ll see manifest in your life. By the same token, the more you focus on those things that you don’t want, (fear) that realization becomes just as apparent and shows up in the various areas of your life as events, conditions and circumstances that you don’t want.
In fact becoming consciously aware of the power of both love and fear and learning to consciously direct your thoughts, beliefs and emotions toward love, regardless of the “perceived” appearances in your physical world, will prove to provide “profound” transformation in each of your physical outcomes.
Your physical experiences in life…those things that you can see, touch, taste, hear and smell are merely effects.
These effects are determined by the predominant thoughts that you choose to think and become increasingly creative as emotions are attached to them.
A thought consistently focused on what you love will produce what you love in physical form. Consistent thoughts of fear (things you don’t want) are intensified by fear and create what is feared.
How can that be?
As with everything both Love and fear at their core in their purest and most basic form exist as a vibrational frequency of energy. These vibrational frequencies attract to themselves additional frequencies that harmonize with them creating in physical form whatever choice you make.
Quite simply Love attracts to you what you love and fear pushes what you love away. Put another way fear attracts to you what you fear and love pushes what you fear away.
Both love and fear are powerfully attractive forces. We get to choose which we will use because of “Unconditional Love” and that Unconditional Love attracts to us and provides us what we choose without fail whether that individual choice is based on love or fear.
We can choose to focus on lack, limitation and discontent which falls under the “fear” heading or we can choose to place and keep that focus on abundance, plenty and fulfillment which is categorized under the love heading.
Unconditional Love says “Whatsoever ye desire, “believe” and ye shall receive.”
Fearing in something happening in your life is due to an underlying belief just as the Love and experience of something is due to an underlying belief.
Fear is merely a “faith” or belief that the things we fear will be experienced by us in physical form and as a result of that underlying “belief”, that is what we will experience at some point unless and until the fear is changed within ourselves and we make the choice to shift the focus from what is feared to what is loved.
Learning to become consciously aware of our reactions to specific outcomes whether it be love or fear can be a great way to let us know what we are believing in at any given moment and begin to understand how to better utilize our creative power “consciously”, intentionally and purposefully.
From a scientific perspective…
“Thought correlates with it’s object.”
Your choice to focus on Love and experiencing what you love is a belief that you can and “Unconditional Love” makes certain that you do. Love projects a much different thought frequency than fear and attracts what you love in the same way that fear projects a much different frequency than love and too, you draw precisely what you fear.
Thought correlates with it’s object. Thoughts of fear correlate, attract and create what is feared. Thoughts of love correlate, attract and create what is loved.
Either choice delivers precisely what we choose because “Unconditional Love” says “Whatsoever ye desire…”believe” and ye shall receive.”
Unconditional Love makes no judgments or determinations as to your choices, it only provides outcomes unfailingly and unconditionally just as you ask…”Whatsoever” you ask.
Unconditional Love provides you with the choice as to what you will experience and the same Unconditional Love provides it too you just as you choose.
When you really begin to grasp and internalize this truth you begin to understand that you have nothing to fear. You get to choose your experience. You only need become conscious of that fact…awaken and begin “consciously” choosing what you love by placing and consistently keeping your predominant focus on what it is that you love.
Many today…the mass majority in fact are inundated with various fears and as a result of what they are “unconsciously” asking for through their vibrational output or energetic projection are continually attracting events, conditions and circumstances that are harmonious with that choice resulting in outcomes which further reinforce the “perceptions” that life is hard, difficult or at best bearable.
Life is what you choose. You choose your own way….your own experience. An expression of Love is a choice just as an expression of fear is a choice.
Although you are unable to change the fact that you think, you do have a choice and can consciously choose “what” you think.
If you have a desire to see your big dreams and desires unfold, don’t fear what you don’t want…learn to shift and focus your predominant thoughts on loving what you do want. Both provide physical outcomes “unconditionally” that harmonize and correlate precisely and with unwavering certainty with your individual choice.
Make certain that what you are projecting through your thoughts and emotional output is filled with love which cannot fail to draw to you more of that which you love.
When focusing on and projecting love, remain in love and unattach from the outcome. Love doesn’t require effort for attraction to occur.
An attachment to or “anxiousness toward” an outcome projects and communicates want which implies not having or the lack of which projects an energy frequency which is tainted by fear and pushes away rather than draws to you the desired outcome.
An “anxious” expectation of receiving is a communication that you are waiting for and expecting an outcome which the Universe responds to in precisely the way it is being communicated which keeps you in a place of continual waiting and expectation with the desired outcome remaining just outside of your reach.
Fear keeps the majority trapped in a self imposed prison. Fear of a lack of security…fear of failure…fear of the unknown…fear of the future based on the past experiences they’ve encountered that were experienced simply as a result of fear based beliefs chosen and held in the past which created and caused the experience to begin with.
Many will claim it’s not fear that keeps them stuck in undesirable careers but rather that it’s wanting or needing security. “I stay where I am because I’m seeking security.” If that makes you feel better you have the ability as well as the choice to stand by your claim, but seeking security is a widely accepted form of logic which under the surface is operating under fear.
How is that?
When looked at from a deeper perspective, seeking security is simply another form of fear disguised. Seeking security implies that you don’t already have available to you what is needed to be secure and the reality is that you already do. As you’ll recall in a previous chapter, EVERYTHING already exists as a “probability of existence.” You only need to create it and call it to you…to “attract” it to you through a focus of Love.
Fear keeps people stuck doing what they feel they “have” to do to have their security and as a result few rarely venture out to fulfill their passion and purpose which would, when done with the proper intention…out of love…provide them with far more security than any “trade your time for money” J.O.B. could EVER provide.
Regardless of which area of life it might be, fear is a very limiting and sad way to live life. It will in fact keep the majority from ever “truly” living life to the fullest unless a conscious choice is made to choose something different.
A choice of focusing on Love in everything done is the answer.
Fear is merely a “faith” that whatever it is that is being feared will unfold and as a result it does. Fear of failure keeps you from “doing” those things which would create the success that you desire and IS the “underlying” cause for creating what is “perceived” as failure or mediocre results at best.
Although in reality there is no such thing as failure, fear keeps many from achieving what they desire and already have the ability to do.
Creation NEVER fails. “Perceived” failure is merely a successful creation with the “underlying cause” often going undetected by the one experiencing it. Failure is merely fear created in physical form but creation is ALWAYS successful…It NEVER fails and ALWAYS provides just what you ask.
Many are just doing the “asking” unconsciously.
There are MANY forms of fear…
Fear Of Loss
Fear of Failure
Fear of Success
Fear of The Unknown
Fear of The Future
Fear of The Past
Fear of…???
The list is endless…”Infinite” in fact. All that needs to be done is to replace the fear with LOVE. That happens as a choice. An individual choice that you have the right as well as the ability to make.
Fear creates outcomes…physical outcomes just as love does. Fear paralyzes and keeps hopes dreams and desires from being fulfilled in life just as love makes certain that they’re experienced.
What so few fail to realize and grasp is that Fear is merely “faith” disguised.
Fear is merely a form of faith that resides on the opposite end of the spectrum of love.
Most have heard and are familiar with the saying that Love and fear cannot co-exist. Although in reality they do co-exist in the physical world they cannot be experienced by the heart or mind at the same time.
Both Love and fear are based on faith and projected from the mind based on individual choice. Fear is merely a form of faith, often unrecognized which is determined by choosing to place your predominant focus on that which is feared.
Remaining in and focusing on fear will produce results in your life just as certainly as focusing on what you love will produce results that correlate and harmonize with that which is loved.
Faith is constant and unfailing in delivering outcomes in each and every area of life. It will provide physical outcomes that are feared just as certainly as it will provide outcomes that are loved.
Far too many attempt to create and experience what they love by experiencing and placing focus on what they fear. Put another way, you will never experience what you desire to experience in your life by keeping your predominant focus on what you would rather not experience. Faith never misses and as modern day scientists have proven, energy flows where attention goes without fail.
“Thought correlates with it’s object.”
Granted, the love of something emits a far greater and far more powerful energy, but remaining focused and fixated on fear can, will and does produce results based on that which is feared.
Although both love and fear, or ANY other emotional output for that matter, at their core exist as vibrational energies, love resonates and projects a much higher vibrational resonance than fear which can only draw to you energies that harmonize with the energy being projected which is transmuted from the unseen, metaphysical or spiritual realm and through the unwavering and immutable process of creation produces a harvest which shows up as the events, conditions and circumstances in your life.
The process of creation has been created to be VERY simple. Plant a seed and the harvest produced consists of and correlates with the kind and quality of seed planted.
Love represents one form of this seed and fear represents a different form of seed. Both are seeds and both produce a harvest. Although they are both creative and both a seed they can no more produce a harvest of the opposite than an apple seed can produce an orange tree.
You can no more expect to reap a harvest of what you “love” by planting “fear” seeds than you would expect to reap a harvest of apples by planting an orange seed.
Your individual choice to project love or fear is neither a right or wrong choice but simply a choice which determines without fail, your harvest. That choosing determines with immutable and unwavering certainty 100% of the time what that harvest will consist of.
So how do you break out of this fear mode? Become aware of who and what you truly are, which is a spiritual being inhabiting a physical “meat suit” which is having a physical experience with EVERY conceivable outcome already available to you.
Learn to “consciously” utilize the incredible and never failing creative power that has been freely provided to you and your ability to rise above any “perceived” obstacle that might be encountered in life by merely making the conscious choice to do so will be automatic.
Most fears are experienced as the result of looking at the past and believing that because some undesirable event, condition or circumstance happened then, that it could be or will be repeated at some point in the future. It’s this form of fear that will keep you stuck repeating the same self limiting patterns over and over again, always desiring to experience more pleasant outcomes yet continually running into the same roadblocks which have held you back in the past.
It’s choosing to place your predominant focus on the things feared from the past that will ensure that more of the thing feared and focused on will be created in the future.
The reality is that you are NOT running into blocks and barriers keeping you from your desired outcomes…those things that you love…but rather attracting them to you and creating them based on YOUR choosing of keeping your focus on them.
Many, fully believing that by remaining aware of those things feared will enable them to escape them when in reality it is the awareness of and focus on the things feared which draws them to you. While you may come up with ways to temporarily counter the effects that the fear will create, you will always find yourself acting and escaping from the effects of the fear rather than focusing on love and never having to dodge or escape anything.
The bottom line is this…
You can choose to project love or you can choose to project fear. That’s an inalienable right we have each been provided. Unfortunately due to a choice to remain “unaware”, the mass majority experience mediocre results at best and very few ever experience the wholeness and fulfillment that life has to offer.
Perhaps you aren’t experiencing all of your desired hopes, dreams and desires either. If not, don’t feel alone because you are a part of the majority…but does that make you “feel” any better?
Why does it seem to happen this way? Because of where you keep your predominant focus…your quality of consciousness. Focusing on that which is feared can only attract and produce what you fear in physical form just as remaining focused on desired outcomes…those that you love will, with unwavering certainty draw to you the ways and means to produce the desired outcomes.
Combine Love With Action And Prosper
Although “consciousness is the seed for all of creation there is another element to experiencing your dreams and desires in the physical world. Although you are currently working on the “most essential” first step there is another component that must be “consciously” utilized as well…action.
Make no mistake…action is ALWAYS required in the fulfillment of hopes and dreams but when the focus remains fixated on the love of something the avenues to make that something into tangible physical form will ALWAYS be pleasant and feel good to you and due to the love and passion you have for what is attracted and presented can seem effortless.
Fear NEVER feels good. Fear is always struggle, resistance and continually attempting to swim against the current. Acting out of fear is NEVER pleasant and enjoyable.
Love is going with the flow and fear is paddling against it. At some point you get tired…fatigued…worn out. Inevitably love ALWAYS wins.
With that understanding established think about the areas of your life where you have a fear of something happening and examine that area consciously. Is the experience of the thing feared being realized?
If you get nothing else from this I hope you’ll grasp and understand this…
Love is the result of an internal beingness, something that we choose to be. Fear is only experienced as the result of looking at the physical events, conditions and circumstances in our lives, both past and present
It is essential that you discover and exercise your “true” power to discover that who you “really and truly are” has absolutely nothing to fear, but that we make ourselves fearful each time we look outside of ourselves for some external thing or power to make us feel fearless.
You have absolutely NOTHING to fear except your “unwillingness” to begin consciously, purposefully and intentionally creating the kind and quality of life that you have been provided the right, the ability as well as the choice to choose for yourself.
That creation begins within yourself. Choose Love inside and you’ll experience those things that you Love on the outside. Love and Desire followed by action that harmonizes with love and desire produce desired results…a kind and quality of results that you Love.
Fear, doubt and worry followed by actions or inaction that harmonize with fear, doubt and worry produce results that harmonize with our choices.
The heart “feels” and communicates only Love and the mind processes those “feelings.” Depending on the filters that have been formed in the mind is what determines what emotions are ignited and experienced in the physical body which determine what type of actions are taken.
Fear filters dissipate and suppress the “feelings of love” that heart always communicates creating emotion resulting in “action” that in the vast majority of cases is disharmonious with taking “a kind and quality of action” that harmonizes with creating the tangible result that we “love and desire.”
To experience more of what we Love.
You are the only thing standing between what you desire and that desire being fulfilled.
Your life and the events, conditions and circumstances in your life are a mirrored reflection of what you yourself are choosing and “allowing” to happen.
Change is constant. It’s the way the Universe was constructed. It’s never idle. It never becomes stagnant. It’s constantly in motion and never rests. You could say that creation is a constant.
resist being stuck which creates an illusion that stuckness is our reality. It doesn’t “seem” to change but it is consistently changing and only recreates the same quality of outcome that we “perceive” that it will.
The cycles continue. Love provides it just as we choose.
These cycles can be clearly seen and witnessed in nature. The awe and perfection of the process never fails or wavers. The continuous arrival and passing of winter, spring, summer and fall clearly reveal one of these repeating and self replicating cycles which has been cycling for billions of years and will continue for billions more.
We never get “stuck” between seasons. We don’t get stuck in winter or any other season.
Universal Law which oversees and governs the process ensures that the cycles never cease…that the “flow” is always open. They are never interrupted or broken. They always unfold perfectly and precisely just as they were designed to do.
It begins by choosing to “become conscious.” First of all “conscious” of the heartfelt communication the heart is sending to the mind which is expressed in the desires you hold for yourself and others that harmonize with Love.
It’s nothing more or less than becoming “conscious” of the difference between heart data and head data.
Choosing to do so clearly reveals the difference between ego and higher self.
This requires nothing more than choosing to become quiet for a moment and allow those “heartfelt desires” to stir, awaken and surface at a conscious level.
Reflect on…
- What do you love with all your heart? What do you want with all your heart?
- What experiences do you wish to engage in with all your heart?
- Do these “desires” benefit and enable everyone involved to win?
- Does the manifestation of the experience of what you love benefit all?
- Do these “heartfelt desires” align, harmonize and honor the “free will” of others?
Become conscious of…
What are you allowing your “mind” to do when you think about the manifestation…the tangible creation of these “heartfelt desires?”
- What conceptualizations are processed as you think about and ponder the “tangible creation” of the “heartfelt desire?”
- What “perceptions” do you hold with regard to the “tangible creation” or the sabotage of your heartfelt desires?
- What emotions ignite?
- Do they harmonize with Love and joy? Do they create a win win for all involved?
If you find the mind to be conflicting with your heartfelt desires, it’s going to be necessary to provide the mind with new data that supports, aligns and harmonizes with the desires held at the heart level.
To elevate the “mind” to harmonize with “heartfelt desires” that you have for yourself requires a willingness and a commitment to expand the quality of consciousness that is creating the “illusion” of limitation. It’s as simple and complex as developing the ability and willingness to harmonize and eliminate the “resistance” between heart and mind and developing the ability to accept and surrender to whatever “less than desired miracles” are being observed on the outside…in the physical Newtonian world.
The inflow of “heartfelt desires” begins by choosing to “Be anxious for nothing.” The flow provides “desired miracles” when we choose to “judge not by appearances and allow Love to shine through.
It’s an “internal battle” that you can disarm and win whenever you make the choice to do so. Doing so requires becoming conscious of the difference between heart communication (accepting, surrendering to and experiencing what you love) or head communication (accepting and surrendering to rather than avoiding and resisting what you fear)
You must involve, listen to and follow your heart if you want a consistent flow of consciously created and desired miracles. Your heart is far more powerful and creative than your brain or your mind when you choose to allow it to be.
Personally experiencing that power requires a surrender to the intellectual thought processes. It requires a willingness on your part to “Judge not by appearances”…to “be anxious for nothing” and keep focus on the “feelings” that the heart provides which always point toward Love and the fulfillment of “desires.”
It requires nothing more or less than turning the volume up at the heart level and turning the volume down at the level of consciousness. It requires becoming consciously aware of what the mind is instructing you to do that you recognize as going against or “resisting” the instruction of the heart which is clearly conveyed and communicated based on whatever you “truly desire” (love) to be, do or have.
Listen to and follow your heart…elevate your quality of consciousness to the heart level.
- Focus on the love of rather than the “fear of.“
Focus on the “desired reality” rather than the “perceived reality.”
Focus on the “fulfillment of” rather than the “lack of.”
- Focus on winning rather than NOT losing.
- Focus on being wealthy rather than NOT being broke.
- Focus on what you can do for and how you can best contribute to the happiness and fulfillment of others rather than what you can do for yourself and get for yourself despite the wants, needs and desires of others.
In essence it’s simply a matter of choosing Love as your conscious and/or underlying intention and doing the best you can to keep your attention on what is loved.
Learn to Love and accept unconditionally which automatically and effortlessly initiates surrender allowing what is loved to become real and tangible.
That’s where your “true power” lies and where infinite potential and possibility can be and will be experienced when you make a conscious choice to “allow“ it to be.
Love projected attracts to you and delivers what you love. Fear projected absent the Intention of Love keeps what you love from becoming real.
[Source: Abundance-And-Happiness.com]
Related articles
- Fear or Love?? (mairea.wordpress.com)
- The Struggle. (letmeseelove.com)
- Perfect love drives out fear (tothisplace.wordpress.com)
blog contact: maria.dorfner@yahoo.com
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MARIA DORFNER, an award-winning health journalist, TV writer and producer, including original health programming, is the founder of NewsMD Communications, LLC promoting best in class health startups, hospitals, non-profits, health books, physicians & health stories to national media & consumers. She is the founder of Healthy Within Network, a health content production, programming & distribution company.
Maria Dorfner is an award-winning broadcast journalist and producer. who began her career with an internship at NBC in 1983 on The Today Show. She is the author of Healthy Within, nominated for a Pulitzer Prize in non-fiction. Other books include Health Heart and Humor in an Italian-American Kitchen and PRESSure. She was a Sigma Tau Delta National English Honors student, Fellow Intercollegiate Model City Council Member, mentors journalism students at her alma mater, where she was Miss Pace University and received an Outstanding Achievement Award, an Outstanding Leadership Abilities Award and Commitment to the Advancement of Women in Media award from Women in Corporate America, National Association of Female Executives and Pace University Dyson School of Arts and Sciences.
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