Do you have a Healthy Millionaire Mind? Dr. Thomas J. Stanley extensively interviewed and surveyed 733 Millionaires asking what factors were most vital to their success.
Top 10 factors they attribute to their success:
1. Being honest with all people
2. Being well-disciplined
3. Getting along with people
4. Having a supportive spouse
5. Working harder than most people
6. Loving my career/business
7. Having strong leadership qualities
8. Having a very competitive spirit/personality
9. Being very well-organized
10. Having an ability to sell my ideas/products
Integrity, someone who doesn’t cheat is high on the list, as well as having extraordinary energy and being physically fit. Integrity and physical fitness are within your control. Anyone can cheat. Anyone can be lazy and not exercise. Wise people make better choices, and reap the long-term rewards from it.
Here are remaining factors Millionaires attribute to their success:
The Food and Drug Administration on Tuesday approved esketamine, the first major depression treatment to hit the U.S. market in decades and a new option for patients who haven’t responded to existing therapies.
Esketamine—delivered as a nasal spray—was tested in combination with oral antidepressants in patients with treatment-resistant depression. The drug is related to ketamine, a common anesthetic sometimes misused recreationally.
Many experts hail esketamine as a critical option for patients in dire need of new treatment.
Janssen, the subsidiary of Johnson & Johnson developed the drug, called Spravato.
Zoe Biehl spoke with an experienced psychiatrist (who wished to remain anonymous) to dive deeper and learn more about how exactly prescribing ketamine for depression works.
Some psychiatrists have been prescribing ketamine off-label for depression. What does off-label mean exactly?
Off-label refers to using an FDA-approved medication for a purpose other than the indication that it is FDA approved for.
Off-label use of medications is common.
It is entirely legal to prescribe for symptoms other than the FDA-approved indication, as long as the drug is FDA approved for distribution in the US.
In order to for a drug to be approved by the FDA, it has to be proven both safe and effective for its proposed indication.
All drugs have potential for adverse effects, so for a medication to be considered safe it has to have a low incidence of severe adverse effects compared to the benefits derived from treating the indicated condition.
A medication may be effective for conditions other than the FDA approved indication. It’s just that it has not undergone the extensive and expensive process of FDA approval.
As long as the medication is proven safe, physicians can legally prescribe a medication for off-label use. An approved drug has a well known safety profile, so it is generally safe to consider a medication for other conditions.
What are some examples of other medications that are prescribed off-label?
Some antidepressants that have passed FDA approval for treatment of depression have been used for neuropathic pain or chronic pain syndromes for over 30 years, but most of them are not FDA approved for pain.
Another example is trazodone—an older medication that has FDA approval for treatment of depression, but it is also very sedating to the point of making it difficult to reach the full dose for the anti-depressant effect. So, because of its sedating side effects, it has become commonly used for insomnia at lower doses. One can assume it is safe enough at lower doses to use for simple insomnia because it has been studied in higher doses in depression.
So how do doctors give the ketamine to patients once they prescribe it to them off-label?
Ketamine is given via IV in a supervised setting, using 1/10 the anesthetic dose, which is 0.5 mg / kg body weight. The effect tends to be delayed to the next day, at which time some sort of reset and release of habitual thoughts and emotions occurs, leaving an opportunity to engage in therapy to help solidify the results.
The antidepressant effect of ketamine tends to wear off within a few days.
Dextromethorphan (DXM) in the usual over-the-counter doses for cough is given twice a day to help maintain the antidepressant effect of ketamine. DXM affects similar receptors and neural pathways as ketamine at a much more mild and attenuated level. Some practitioners have been prescribing DXM in the hopes that it might augment and maintain the effects of the ketamine treatment.
A doctor in San Diego is giving oral ketamine at the same dose of 0.5 mg / kg body weight for situational depression in hospice patients with good results. He has the pharmacy compound the IV ketamine into a syrup that is administered every night for the remainder of their life (which is only a few weeks for the population that he has been treating). It is a small number of patients, but so far he has found it to be generally well tolerated and effective.
Ketamine only comes in IV formulation—there is no commercially available oral formulation. So you have to use a compounding pharmacy, where personalized medications in specific doses are created to fit the unique needs of a patient.
Ketamine for depression is experimental. There is not enough evidence of safety and efficacy to justify wide-spread off-label use at this point. For outpatients, the treatment protocols involve oral or IV administration in a supervised office setting. It is not dispensed as a prescription to be taken at home.
What are some concerns/risks in prescribing ketamine off-label for depression?
The important issue with ketamine is the fact that the use of it for depression is still highly experimental. It would not be as serious a concern if it were a simple medication like ibuprofen being used for treatment of cough—which can work when the cough is related to inflammation in the trachea.
Ibuprofen is a fairly safe medication. Ketamine is not. It can be used at anesthetic doses to induce a dissociative state in which pain is not felt. Any medication that is used for anesthesia can be lethal if overused. And ketamine has a street value as it is used as a party drug. This can result in people seeking treatment for reasons other than depression, or for people who are looking to access drugs simply to get high.
Ketamine has been studied by the FDA for one-time single use as an anesthetic. There is no data of the safety of repeated doses over time.
Use of ketamine for depression is being closely monitored and studied. The protocols stress the importance of screening out people with a history of substance abuse. There is concern that such patients might be more prone to respond to low-dose ketamine by developing addictive responses to the use of the medication.
The use of ketamine for depression is also limited to just a few treatments a week for a limited number of weeks. The problem is that the antidepressant effect wears off, so the idea is to use these days when the mood is improved to work on psychological issues and shift one’s perspective and break cycles of habitual negative thoughts.
How does that work exactly? What does the ketamine do?
The use of ketamine for depression is analogous to the use of plant medicine in shamanism.
Ayahuasca, for example, limited to a single session (or a limited series of 2-4), each time focusing on a specific desired goal of the ceremony—purging, cleansing, insight, teaching, and/or healing of a specific illness or concern. The idea is to use the insights gained from the expanded awareness and consciousness and incorporate the ideas and insights into daily life.
The goal of repeated ceremonial use of ayahuasca is to be able to access and retain the insights and expanded level of consciousness without the need for the plant. By remembering the state of expanded insight and re-entering that level of awareness consciously, you can incorporate the effects of the plant into your daily life.
So, likewise with ketamine, the idea is to enter a state of release of depression, feel what it feels like to have the burden of depression lifted, and learn to maintain that state of mind by conscious intent and practice.
Some researchers have noted that ketamine seems to break the ruts of chronic negative thoughts and negative emotional states that self-perpetuate when depressed, and by breaking the patterns for a few hours or days, you have an opportunity to move forward without continuing the patterns of negative thoughts and feelings. It’s like a reboot of a computer. A momentary shutting down, setting the dials back to zero, and then starting again. Like turning your computer off and on again to resolve a persistent and baffling problem on your computer.
A British physician from England who has been researching ketamine has suggested that ketamine is somehow addressing the “ruts” in our thoughts and emotions.
When certain negative thoughts and feelings are repeated over and over, you tend to fall back into the same ruts over and over. He feels ketamine clears out the ruts, like repaving a street, providing a smooth surface to respond and move forward in a different direction instead of following the same old paths.
Ketamine is a drug that was approved by the FDA in the 1970’s to be used by doctors and veterinarians as an anesthetic.
It’s also a fairly popular recreational drug that provides out-of-body experiences.
However, even though ketamine has been legal for around 50 years, it was only in the last few years that psychiatrists began to realize this drug is actually quite effective at treating depression. According to one clinical study, around 70-85% of patients with severe depression reported that their ketamine treatment was effective.
“There has been a long-standing need for additional effective treatments for treatment-resistant depression, a serious and life-threatening condition,” said Dr. Tiffany Farchione, acting director of the Division of Psychiatry Products in the FDA’s Center for Drug Evaluation and Research, in a press release about the decision.
“This is potentially a game changer for millions of people,” said Dr. Dennis Charney, dean of the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York. “It offers a lot of hope.”
Esketamine works through a mechanism different from those of drugs like Prozac, Charney said. And that is probably why studies show it can often help people with major depressive disorder who haven’t been helped by other drugs.
“Many of them are suicidal,” Charney said. “So it’s essentially a deadly disease when you haven’t responded to available treatments and you’ve been suffering for years if not decades.”
Charney was part of the team that first showed two decades ago that ketamine could treat depression. He also is named as co-inventor on patents filed by the Icahn School of Medicine relating to the treatment for treatment-resistant depression, suicidal ideation and other disorders.
Esketamine, developed by Johnson & Johnson, will be administered as a nasal spray and be used in conjunction with an oral antidepressant. It will be marketed under the brand name Spravato. The FDA has approved it for patients who have failed to respond adequately to at least two other drugs.
That means about 5 million of the 16 million people in the U.S. with major depression might benefit from esketamine, said Courtney Billington, president of Janssen Neuroscience, a unit of Johnson & Johnson.
But esketamine presents some challenges because of its similarities to ketamine. In high doses, both drugs can cause sedation and out-of-body experiences. And ketamine, often called Special K in its illicit form, has become a popular party drug.
So Johnson & Johnson is taking steps to make sure esketamine will be used only as intended, Billington said.
“Spravato will not be dispensed directly to a patient to take at home,” he said. “It will only be available in approved and certified treatment centers.”
Patients will inhale the drug under supervision at these centers once or twice a week. And they will receive a dose that is unlikely to produce side effects such as hallucinations.
“The amount of active ingredient that’s in this product, it’s at a very, very low dose,” Billington said.
Even so, the FDA, according to its press release, is requiring a warning label that says patients “are at risk for sedation and difficulty with attention, judgment and thinking (dissociation), abuse and misuse, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors after administration of the drug,”
Esketamine’s approval comes as more and more doctors have begun administering a generic version of ketamine for depression. Generic ketamine is approved as an anesthetic, not as an antidepressant. Even so, doctors can legally prescribe it for off-label medical uses.
And as a growing number of studies have shown ketamine’s effectiveness against depression, ketamine clinics have sprung up around the United States. These clinics often administer the drug in an intravenous infusion that can cost more than $500 per treatment.
Many doctors who have become comfortable offering ketamine for depression probably won’t switch to esketamine, said Dr. Demitri Papolos, director of research for the Juvenile Bipolar Research Foundation and a clinical associate professor at Albert Einstein College of Medicine.
For the past 10 years, Papolos has been prescribing an intranasal form of ketamine for children and adolescents who have a disorder that includes symptoms of depression.
“I’m very pleased that finally the FDA has approved a form of ketamine for treatment-resistant mood disorders,” Papolos said. He said the approval legitimizes the approach he and other doctors have been taking.
But he hopes that doctors who are currently using ketamine continue to do so. “It’ll be a lot less expensive and a lot easier for their patients [than esketamine],” he said.
Esketamine “may not be as effective as a generic that any psychiatrist or physician can prescribe without restrictions,” Papolos said.
Johnson & Johnson said the wholesale cost of each treatment with ketamine will range from $590 to $885, depending on the dose. That means twice-weekly treatments during the first month will cost centers that offer the drug at least $4,720 to $6,785. Subsequent weekly treatments will cost about half as much.
The drugmaker says those figures don’t include administration and observation costs.
Gretchen Rubin’s new book is out today to show you how decluttering and organizing can make more room for happiness and lead to inner calm.
Gretchen is the author of several books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers, The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, The Happiness Project, and Happier at Home. She has an enormous readership, both in print and online, and her books have sold 3.5 million copies worldwide, in more than thirty languages.
On her popular weekly podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft; they’ve been called the “Click and Clack of podcasters.” She’s a member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100.
We interviewed Gretchen about her new book Outer Order, Inner Calm. Welcome.
Question: HOW CAN DECLUTTERING BRING ABOUT INNER CALM?
When people get rid of all that stuff that they don’t need, don’t use or don’t love, what people actually experience is they feel like they have more.
Question: I’M A MINIMALIST AND AGREE. WHAT IF SOMEONE CAN’T PART WITH THINGS DUE TO SENTIMENTAL REASONS? WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU GIVE THEM?
It’s not always easy. In the choice, there is decision fatigue, it’s hard. It’s emotionally draining. It’s intellectually draining, but once all of that stuff has been wiped away, given away, recycled, donated, that’s when you can really see, well, where to do I put things?
People can ask themselves 3 questions:
How do I organize things so I can find them easily?
How do I organize things so they make sense to me?
How do I organize things so they look appealing?
Your impulse might be to buy more containers, filing cabinets, or fancy hangers to organize what you currently have, but Rubin said you have to start by asking these three questions: Do I need it? Do I use it? Do I love it?
By the time you get rid of the things cluttering your life, you won’t need that filing cabinet “because you only have three documents left.
If it’s clothing, ask yourself if you ran into your ex would you be happy to be seen wearing it? If not, get rid of it.
Question: MAKES SENSE. WITHOUT GIVING THE ENTIRE BOOK AWAY SHARE YOUR #1 TIP FOR DECLUTTERING TO GAIN OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM.
One great habit is the one-minute rule. Anything you can do in less than a minute, do without delay.
For example, if you can hang up your coat instead of throwing it on the chair.
If you can rip open a letter and see that you can put it in the recycling.
It’s a little habit that’s easy to work into even a very busy life.
GREAT TIP. HERE’S MORE TIPS ON HOW TO HELP A FRIEND DECLUTTER:
Burrito Bowl with steak, fajita vegetables, lettuce, and tomato salsa: 200 calories, 6 grams fat, 4 grams fiber, 22 grams protein
The beauty of Chipotle is that they have so many healthy fast food options. They make it so easy to create your own meal. To keep both calories and carbohydrates in check, skip the burritos and go for a burrito bowl. A steak burrito bowl with minimal toppings will still provide a balanced meal that keeps calories in check. However, beware of adding rice, guac, and cheese—these fat-laden options will make your calorie count soar. “Guacamole is an excellent heart-healthy fat source but can still add up in calories quickly,” says Kristen Smith, spokesperson for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics. “If you must go for the rice, choose the brown rice option and limit to a one-half cup serving.”
Grilled chicken sandwich without mayo: 360 calories, 7 grams total fat, 1.5 grams saturated fat, 6 grams fiber, 36 grams protein
Contrary to popular belief, Burger King actually offers healthy fast food options that are non-burger entrees—and the grilled chicken sandwich is always a good alternative for healthy fare. However, nutritionists stress ordering this one without mayo. Maegan White, RD, urges omitting mayo and cheese to save calories and asking for salad dressing on the side. If you want to be even healthier, choose vinaigrettes in place of creamy dressings.
Sorry to all you cheese lovers out there, but an extra slice of cheese can make quite a difference in your calorie and fat intake. While the cheeseburger has 12 grams fat and 300 calories, eliminating the saturated fats from the cheese portion gives the burger 250 calories and only 8 grams fat in comparison. There’s not much to the classic hamburger, but with its nutrition stats, it’s guaranteed to fit into almost any calorie-controlled eating plan. Make sure to hold off on the sugary sauces and extra condiments. These are the healthiest things to eat at 25 fast food restaurants.
If you want something a little more substantial than a salad, Lanette Kovachi, Subway’s in-house dietician, recommends one of their 6″ Fresh Fit subs. All of them weigh in at less than 400 calories, are low in saturated fat and cholesterol, and are free of artificial trans fats. “It’s a great source of fiber when made on nine-grain wheat bread and topped with all the fresh veggies,” she says. “It also has 20 percent of daily recommended iron and vitamin C.” At just 200 calories, the Veggie Delite is the lowest-calorie option and offers wiggle room for tasty toppings like honey mustard.
Superfood side salad: 140 calories, 8 grams fat, 1 gram saturated fat, 3 grams fiber, 4 grams protein
Chick-fil-A is one of the best fast food joints to visit if you are craving a quick and healthy dish. Their eight-piece chicken nugget meal holds enough protein to keep you full, and adding the side salad (featuring kale, broccolini, dried cherries, and nuts) will provide the necessary vitamins and nutrients to complete the meal. According to Amy Goodson, board-certified specialist in sports dietetics, “Grilled chicken will typically always have fewer calories and fat than its fried food counterpart. In addition, choosing a nutrient-rich side item like fruit, yogurt parfait, or salad will add nutrients and take away added fat that is found in the typical french fries side item.” Don’t miss out on 14 other nutritionist-approved eats you can find at Chick-fil-A and other fast food restaurants.
This one doesn’t come as much of a surprise, but it’s always a great choice if you want to as few calories as possible. While Arby’s may “have the meats,” their light and delectable salad option isn’t a bad idea either. Even with the greens, you’ll attain a solid dose of protein and fiber, all for less than 250 calories.
7. Healthy fast food at Wendy’s
Small chili: 170 calories, 5 grams fat, 4 grams fiber, 15 grams protein
Don’t underestimate the soup as one of the healthy fast food options on the menu; the small chili has 15 grams of high-quality protein and 4 grams of satiating fiber, all for less than 200 calories. Make this a complete meal by pairing it with a side salad. Elizabeth Shaw, MS, RDN, CLT, recommends adding the chili right on top of the salad in place of the dressing and an easy way to increase veggie intake. That way, you’ll increase your potassium and get a boost of carbohydrates while you’re at it. Just make sure you don’t order these 9 foods from fast-food restaurants that nutritionists would never eat.
8. Healthy fast food at Taco Bell
Soft fresco taco with steak: 150 calories, 4 grams of fat, 2 grams fiber, 10 grams protein
Janis Isaman, nutritional coach and owner of My Body Couture, deems Taco Bell as her favorite fast food chain for their high level of customization. “Thanks to the use of nutritional powerhouse beans and the inclusion of vegetables, these meals have a healthy dose of protein, taste delicious, and pack in a mountain of nutrients while keeping you full,” she says. Moreover, this place is concrete proof that chicken isn’t always the healthiest option on the menu. The steak version of the fresco soft tacos less fat and more protein than the chicken option. And for 150 calories per taco, don’t feel bad about splurging and ordering two.
A day ago, New York Times asks, “How Many Push-Ups Can You Do?” and reports pushups may be a a good predictor of your heart health.
Their source is Journal of the American Association (JAMA) Network Open.
Some took this to heart and started sharing videos on Facebook of themselves doing pushups.
Some men shared themselves doing 40 pushups and challenged friends to do the same. Why 40?
According to the New York Time’s article by Gretchen Reynolds, men who could get through 40 or more push-ups had a 96% less risk of heart problems in the next 10 years than those who quit at 10 or fewer.
Push-up capability proved to be a better predictor, statistically, of future heart problems than the treadmill tests. If you can’t do the full 40 — 11 works as a minimum.
Men who could complete at least 11 push-ups had less risk of developing heart problems in the following decade than those who could complete fewer than 10, they found.
But not everyone can do pushups. According to TrainingCore.com there are just as many, if not more reasons you may find them frustrating. Things like weak wrists or unstable shoulders.
WHY SOME PEOPLE CAN’T DO PUSHUPS AT ALL
Push-ups are one of the biggest determiners of your upper body strength. They are intense, they make your arms shake, and there are 50 reasons why some people can’t do them. Here are some reasons compliments of TrainingCor.com
1. You have a desk job
When you sit at a desk all day, your body sits in a compromised position, and you rarely get up and get moving. There is also a slight chance that you eat at your desk, too. Your desk job is killing your fitness routine, and as a result, your push-ups are lacking.
Think about the tasks you perform at your desk, none of it has to do with strength training or significant movement. You sit like a stone, doing the same movements, and you allow your body to collapse. Your desk job is destroying your body. The tips here will help you not only improve your push-up, but improve your desk-job body as a whole.
2. You work only your arms
Your push-up involves more than your arms. Sure, they shake like crazy when you go down and push yourself up, but they are not the only muscles working to complete a push-up, so they should not be the only muscles you strengthen to improve your push-up. Plus, you probably aren’t working your arms in the best way anyway.
When working your arms, work the biceps, triceps, and your deltoids. Here are a couple exercises to get your started.
Plank shoulder tap
TRX Shift and Pike
3. Your core is weak
Yes, you do push-ups for abs, but you need to help out a little. If you are struggling to do a push-up to get the core you want, work on the core you have to get the push-up you want.
4. You are a runner
It is not uncommon for runners to have incredible speed and endurance, but lack upper body strength. Many runners cannot do push-ups, or good ones at least. Runners often need to incorporate cross-training and strength training into their daily workouts.
5. Your head isn’t in it
push-ups require more than a strong upper body. They require a clear and strong head, too. To train your body, train your mind. Intense mental training can enhance your endurance and performance, and it can improve your dedication. Mental training will transform your performance outside of the gym, too.
6. You thought a 30-day challenge was the answer
The infographics are appealing, but the results on the 30-day challenge everyone shares is not the answer to the perfect push-up. This is not realistic if you are learning how to do push-ups or improve your push-ups. This plan also lacks variety and instruction.
7. Your breath is off
Breathe!!! Too many people forget to breathe when doing push-ups because they are too focused on the movement. Use your breath to guide your movements. Always keep air moving. Inhale when you go down, and exhale when you push up. During any workout, always exhale on the hardest part.
8. Your diet still sucks
There’s that. You have to change your diet if you want real results. A healthy diet provides your body with the nutrients and fuel necessary for your workouts. A healthy diet also helps improve your recovery time after hard workouts. You don’t need a smoothie fad, weight-loss pills, or miracle cures. You need the tools necessary to help you make better choices about the types of foods and amount of food that enters your body.
9. You ignore your triceps
What does your arm day look like? For many, it involves workouts that work only the biceps. Don’t ignore the triceps. Not only will working your triceps prevent the underarm flag, but it assists in extending and retracting your forearm. Try these bodyweight exercises for stronger triceps.
10. Your shoulders are unstable
Work on shoulder stability with these exercises.
11. Your form is off
When doing a push-up, your body must be straight. Envision a ruler from the top of your head that runs down to your bottom. Remember this during every push-up movement.
12. Your butt is in the air
Your butt should not thrust up into the air. Squeeze your glutes and tighten your core to keep your butt from sticking out.
13. Your hands are too far apart
Your hands should be shoulder-width apart. Don’t try different hand positions until you can master the standard push-up. Having the arms too wide will increase shoulder stress when you can’t control your body.
14. You are too ambitious
You cannot hit the ground running when you start push-ups or when you improve your push-ups. Set realistic expectations that keep your form controlled and your body free from injuries. By the end of the week, try to get your first good one done, and then add a couple more each week after.
15. Your back is weak
Strengthen your back muscles, focusing on the lower back as much as the upper back.
16. Your elbows are kicked out to the side
Your elbows should be at a 45-degree angle at your side. When you go down, do not flare them out. Envision yourself pushing a refrigerator away from your body. How would you do it? Now, do the same on the floor.
17. Your fingers are together
For stability, spread your fingers apart. This gives you more surface area on the ground.
Can exercise predict how long you’ll live?
New research shows this may be true.
A new study suggests an ‘estimated age’ based on an exercise
stress test may be a better predictor of how long a person
will live compared to their actual age.
"Age is one of the most reliable and consistent risk factors
for dying --the older you are, the higher the risk," accordingto Serge Harb, M.D., a Cleveland Clinic cardiologist and study author.“In this study, we showed that an estimated physiological
age, based on your exercise performance, is an even better
predictor on how long you will live.”
Dr. Harb and his colleagues studied medical records from 126,356
people who had been referred for an exercise treadmill
stress test between 1991 and 2015.
Researchers studied how people performed during the stress test,
including how long they exercised, their heart rate response to
exercise, and how they recovered afterward.
Based on these results, researchers were able to predict
the person’s estimated age. The participants were then
followed for about nine years.
Data shows that estimated age, based on the treadmill performance,
was a better indicator of life expectancy than actual calendar age.
For example, a 50-year-old who performed well during a stress test,
and had an estimated age of only 45, could live longer than what is
expected by his actual calendar age.
Dr. Harb says he hopes the study helps people understand that
exercise can add years to their lives.“The key take home message for patients is to exercise
more, improve exercise performance, and for health care
providers to use this physiological age as a way '
to motivate their patients to improve their
exercise performance,” he says.
Dr. Harb believes the estimated age calculated in this research may
be an easier and more practical way to communicate the results of a
stress test to help people better understand their risk.
Complete results of the study can be found in the
European Journal of Preventive Cardiology.
Healthy couples create an atmosphere of emotional safety
for each other, which in turn, keeps their minds and
Healthy couples aren't without conflict. In fact, conflict is
normal in healthy relationships.
The difference is outstanding marriages have two outstanding
communicators who respectfully resolve conflict.
Healthy couples are open, honest and deal with issues, even
difficult ones as they arise.
They don't involve other people, unless it's a professional,
and they make their relationship a positive priority.
That keeps the relationship healthy, and benefits their own
emotional and physical health.
The opposite is detrimental to both, especially when chronic.
When a couple has constant, unrelenting stress --it takes
a toll on their emotional and physical health.
Stress without relief can disturb the body’s internal balance,
which may lead to headaches, stomach upset, high blood pressure
and even chest pain.
Stress is also linked to heart disease and cancer, among other
Cleveland Clinic’s Ted Raddell, Ph.D., says thequality of a
marriage is important to the quality of overall health.
“Headaches, stomach issues, certainly the common
things, muscle tension, but if that persists, you have
unremitting stress then it affects our immune
functioning and then we’re more vulnerable to all kinds of
potential physical problems,” says Raddell.
One recent study links marital conflict and depression to poor
While another study suggests strained relationships may be
connected to an increased risk for heart disease.
Dr. Raddell said this mind-body connection is well known among
He says stress, in general, produces a ‘fight or flight’
response which is designed to help in emergencies, but it'sconstantly activated it can cause wear and tear
on the body --both physical and emotional.
Dr. Raddell says the impact on health is greatest when
relationship stress becomes chronic.
“The longer the time distrust persists, over the course of
months versus weeks, is probably where you’re
more likely to see some of those physical
symptoms,” he says.
Dr. Raddell encourages couples to seek help sooner rather than
later if they’re struggling and in distress.
He says when a spouse
create an atmosphere
emotional safety for their partner,
the nervous system shifts
“rest and digest" mode
all body systems
More tips on how to have an outstanding marriage below.
If you want to have an outstanding marriage, you have to be an outstanding communicator.
10 Ways To Improve Communication In Marriage
1. Model respectful listening
Top of the list – take responsibility. Don’t wait for your spouse to make the first move – step up and listen already. Good listeners tend to get listened to in return.
2. Choose to be genuinely interested in what your spouse has to say
Yes, it’s a choice. You say you love her? Then don’t tune her out when the conversation is not about something you like. Make the effort to attend that PTA event together – you might have something to talk about. Read that Jane Austen book she loves so much; watch her favorite HGTV home makeover show with her; walk hand in hand around the art show; show some interest in her friends. Make the choice to be interested.
“Here are some things I want us to talk to Junior’s teacher about. What do you think?”
“Thanks for bringing me lunch yesterday; I love you so much!”
“I enjoyed shooting the breeze with you. Let’s meet for coffee and chat some more.”
4. Schedule regular, media-free family mealtimes
This applies to both communication in marriage and the family dynamic. Meals can be communication opportunities par-excellence. They are informal family meetings and workshops where parents both teach manners and model as examples. Plus mealtimes are an awesome ongoing opportunity – with or without children – to keep communication flowing.
5. Keep the television turned off. TV as constant background is
An invitation to tune out relationships
A strong message about what is important (and unimportant) in a home
A distraction that will always suck attention away from one another
An excuse to avoid communication
6. Make eye contact when you are talking
Also make good use of touch, responsive and reflective feedback, and body language (smiles, gestures, head tilts, raised eyebrows, nods, etc.) to demonstrate that communication is actually occurring.
7. Do not look at your phone while interacting with your spouse
It sends a clear message of priorities.
8. Avoid surface level or single word responses
When talking with your spouse, it’s too easy to brush off real communication, squash first-order interaction, and signal your spouse that you are not really interested.
9. Designate a central location for all important reminders, dates, and messages.
Maybe a large calendar on the refrigerator – or a bulletin board in the kitchen – or a white-board by the front door.
10. Include your spouse as a Friend in all your social media lists.
No one should get more of your time than your spouse. Include one another as primary contacts, keep one another “in the loop”, send one another messages every day, and act as if you are each other’s best friend. Chances are, you will be.
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“The secret to a happy marriage is if you can be at peace with someone within four walls, if you are content because the one you love is near to you, either upstairs or downstairs, or in the same room, and you feel that warmth that you don’t find very often, then that is what love is all about.” -Bruce Forsyth