Tag: Saturday Night Live

More Than Skin Deep

Published on by mariadorfner4 Comments

I uploaded a new photo to Facebook.  It always catches me off guard when it pops up JUMBO size.   I’m thinking, WHOA…

JUMBO shiny face.

It doesn’t bother me.  It bothers other people.  Okay, two.  TWO people. My sister and my niece laugh and ask,  “Why is your face so shiny?” in the same tone they ask, “Is THAT what you’re wearing?” right as I am about to dash out the door.

I don’t see the shine as a problem.  But I caught the following headline from SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE, which brought back a stab of teenage angst:

“GET A SHINE-FREE FACE: Some things may look better shiny, but never your face!”

NEVER?

Maybe it IS a problem.  Saturday Night Live would definitely file this under, “White People’s Problems.”  That’s when you don’t have any, and start making s@%t up.

Well, SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE has some remedies. Apparently, I was too busy working at that age to flip through beauty magazines. I was into reading  encyclopedias.  My Dad refused to buy them.  Salesmen sold them door-to-door back then.   If you had them, you were rich.

My aunt & uncle must have been loaded because they had a complete A to Z set.  So I ran around the block to their house every night to read them.  My uncle nicknamed me, “Maria, Go Home.”  I’d say, “NO! I’m not finished.”  I had to read very fast.  Clearly, he was annoyed at having to walk me home each night.

1976 was the worst.  David Berkowitz went on a notorious killing spree in Brooklyn.  That really cut into my encyclopedia reading.  I had to wear a scarf on my head and SPRINT around the block because he was randomly shooting brunettes in the head.  I was just  a kid.  Didn’t matter.

My genetic hair color made me look like a turkey out on Thanksgiving Eve.  Then the New York Post released Generic Man sketch.  I couldn’t even talk to anyone I knew without secretly thinking he was a killer.  After awhile, I started looking at family members with a raised eyebrow.  Where were YOU last night?

I digress.  Back to shiny things.  Below is my Facebook photo.  Shinier than an NBA championship trophy.  Did you think it was the one at the top of the page?

Below are thoughts from SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE readers who don’t have to worry about getting murdered.  It’s fun reading their home remedies, as I can tell they are real and not from people being paid to tell you something works.  Thank goodness beauty is more than skin deep.

Meanwhile, let’s look at  that article to find out what teens do for their overproduction of oil because let’s FACE it –they have more time to CLEAR things up.  Although, I’m a little concerned about Tiffany.  And Shanniqua?  You go girl.

SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE

GET A SHINE-FREE FACE

Some things may look better shiny, but never your face! Get an oil-free, healthy glow with these real-girl tips!

“My mom taught me to put rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball and rub that on your face. It grabs oil and leaves your face shine-free — it works every time!” –Stephanie, 14, Melville, NY

“Clean & Clear oil-blotting sheets don’t clog pores, and after a couple of blots your skin goes from shiny to a healthy, smooth glow. Plus, a 50-sheet pack can fit anywhere, even the tiniest of purses!” –Danielle, 16, Vienna, VA

“Make a mask from eggs and sugar. It’s great for everyone!” –Haley, 15, Gastonia, NC

“Rub a drier sheet over your face right after getting out of the shower!” –Tiffany, 15, Boonville, IN

“Once a week, I mix the juice from an orange and some egg yolk and put it on my face for about 10 minutes. It sounds disgusting, but it totally works!” –Caitlin, 17, Toronto, ON, Canada

“Wear face moisturizer with a sheer powder on top of that. It keeps your skin shine-free for up to 10 hours!” –Krystal, 15, Havre, MT

“If I’m out and need to de-shine, I grab a toilet seat cover (unused!) from a public bathroom and use it like an oil-absorbing sheet. It works and it’s free!” –Shanniqua, 16, Ventura, CA

“Caress Body Soap dries up my skin a bit, and leaves my face not shiny or oily at all!” –Jenna, 15, Melrose, MN

“I mix baking soda and water and leave it on my skin for 10 minutes, then I rinse it and put witch hazel on. It makes my skin smooth and oil-free!” –Ashley, 14, Philadelphia, PA

“I use a light, gentle moisturizer every night. Keeping your skin hydrated (and clean) keeps your pores from producing oil.” –Rachel, 14, Rocky Hill, CT

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    THE BOTTOM LINE IS WHEN IT COMES TO HEALTH SHINE IS NOT BAD.   DERMATOLOGISTS CALL IT “LUCK”.  BEST KIND OF SKIN.  So don’t sweat it if nothing works. I’m not.  Healthy skin is a combination of good nutrition, exercise, plenty of rest, lots of hydration (water) and being a person of integrity. That means honesty when communicating.  Also, be grateful your entire Summer isn’t ruined by having to worry about getting shot by a mad man.